Yelling at your kids isn't a good idea...

Lanka · **Posted:** Mon Sep 19, 2005 6:57 am

Yelling at your kids isn't a good idea...

DM / 10MAY2005

It is difficult not to yell at kids after you've told them for the 20th time to clean their room, or when they've trashed the basement, finger painted all over the kitchen wall, or taken the car without asking. But do you yell at a bumbling coworker?

Do you yell at the grocery clerk who puts the canned soup in the same bag as the loaf of bread? Do you yell at your child's teacher when you think she's being unfair? Not usually. So why do we feel its okay to yell at our kids? Part of the answer is that it appears acceptable to yell at children, whereas the opposite is true at work

Yelling at your kids however isn't a good idea it is okay raising your voice to get the attention of a child who is about to do something dangerous. But insulting and degrading kids is never if you're saying to your kid, 'You're worthless,' that's different than yelling at your kid to get his clothes on.

In other words, it's when you attack a child's core values, his self-esteem, with statements like "I don't love you anymore" or "I wish I'd never had you" that the damage occurs.

Other actions speak louder
Although there are short-term tricks to keep from yelling, parents need to address the problem with a long-term solution. That means creating a support network, formal or informal, that you can turn to when your frustration builds. It could be a neighbour who agrees to take your kids for a couple of hours when you've used up your last drop of patience, or your spouse who does so.

Say your teenager breaks curfew. Don't yell at her the minute she walks in. Instead, calmly say, "We'll discuss this later." The next day, contact friends who have teens for advice and devise a strategy.

It's also important to be aware of your child's developmental ability. If you know your 1-year-old is going to put things in her mouth, you can't yell at her, because that's how she's learning about her world. If you know that a 2-year-old is going to touch everything, get the breakable bowl off the table instead of constantly yelling at him to leave it alone. And if you know that adolescents have a strong need for independence, you should make an effort to be more understanding when your teen tells you she's not interested in going away with you for the weekend.

Also keep in mind that yelling at kids is ubiquitous, cutting across all cultures to varying degree: Consistency and persistence, saying the same things over and over is what's necessary with children.

LANKALIBRARY FORUM

Yelling at your kids isn't a good idea...

Yelling at your kids isn't a good idea...

Yelling at your kids isn't a good idea...

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