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 Post subject: More Udurawana Jokes
 Post Posted: Wed May 04, 2005 1:55 am 
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Joined: Tue Mar 15, 2005 2:21 pm
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1)
This happened when Udurawana's 4th child was born. He fills data in the birth certificate.
Mother: Sri Lankan.
Father: Sri Lankan.
Kid: Chinese.
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sri LAnkan?"
says Udurawana "Ahhh... I read in the newspaper, that the every 4th person born on Earth now is a Chinese." :P

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2)
Udurawana rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from where he had purchased a packet of butter a few minutes ago.

"Where is my free gift?" he shouted at the shopkeeper. "But Sir, there is no free gift on the purchase of butter." The shopkeeper answered politely.

"Don't fool me," replied udurawana, "it is clearly written on the packet of the butter 'Cholesterol free' but you gave me only butter". :D


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3)
Udurawana: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.
Nurse: B positive
Udurawana: please tell me soon ....
Nurse: B positive
Udurawana: Madam, I am positive, but eager to know my blood group.
:lol:


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4)
Mr Udurawana, though a strong Buddhist, enjoyed reading the Bible immensely. One day, after reading the bible, our good friend was visibly upset and this was noticed by his wife too. She was curious to know as to what had made her so upset.

After wiping his tears, Mr Udurawana explained to his wife the cause of his grief. "see dear....I never expected the end of such a noble personality to be so tragic and miserable. Do you know that he died in a gunny bag?" Mrs U-Rawana, the better educated of the two knew that her husband has blundered somwhere again.

She grabbed the the bible from her husband and began to read it. To her amusement, she found the last sentence therein which read as ".........Thus the Jesus Christ died in agony."
Our good friend had read it as "Thus the Jesus Christ died in a gony" (Gony in Sinhala means gunny bag).
:D

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5)
Those days in Sri Lanka everybody must have licence for their shot guns. Udurawana messed up everything and he forgot to get licence. On the last day he rushed to govt kachcheri, the place where licence are issued and talked to the counter clerk and said " I want to get licence for my gun, can I do that now?" But the counter was dull of hearing " licence for what???" Udurawana said "gun... gun... You dont know gun? G for Gesus (Jesus) U for urope (Europe) N for numonia (Pneumonia)?" :biggrin:
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6)
Once Uduravana wanted to know the time difference between UK and USA. So he called up the Tourist Board and asked them "Could you tell me the time difference between UK & USA" The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Uduravana immediately replies "Thank you" and puts the phone down. :mrgreen:


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 10:17 am 
One day Udurawana visited a museum with a foreign visitor. The visitor saw a big skull and asked what that was.

Udurawana said "that was the skull of King Sri Wickrama Rajasinghe".

After a few miniutes, the visitor saw another small skull of a monkey and asked udurawana what that was.

Udurawana said " that is when the king was young".


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2005 10:23 am 
One morning, Mrs. Udurawana caught her husband searching high and low all around his living room.

Mrs. Udurawana:"What are you searching for?"
Mr. Udurawana: "Hidden camaras!"

Mrs. Udurawana: "And what makes you think that there are hidden camaras here?"
Mr. Udurawana: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Every few minutes he keeps saying, "You are watching Rupavahini channel. How does he know that?"


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 Post subject: more..
 Post Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2005 4:21 am 
Quote:
Udurawana -why are all these people running?

Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Udurawana - If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

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Udurawana's wish - When I die, I wanna die like my grandpa, who died
peacefuly in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car
he was driving..

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Twins were born to uduravana,.
he could not sleep for the whole night.
why????
he kept wondering who is the father of the second child


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2005 4:27 am 
Quote:
Udurawana: I was born in Kandy.
TV Interviewer: Oh really, which part?
Udurawana: All of me, silly.

======

Udurawana got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.

"Is this one one one one?", says the voice.

"No, this is eleven eleven."

"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"

"No, this is eleven eleven."

"Well, wrong number, sorry to have woken you up on the middle of the night."

"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."

======

Udurawana with two red ears went to his doctor.

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But...what happened to your other ear?"

"That fellow called back."


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