|Why men can't lie to women
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|Author:||LankaLibrary [ Thu Jan 17, 2008 8:57 pm ]|
|Post subject:||Why men can't lie to women|
Why men can't lie to women
Why women have trouble with parallel parking
Around 50 per cent of women cannot instantly recognise their left hand from their right, without looking for a ring or a freckle first. Men, on the other hand, operating in either the left or right brains, find it much easier to identify left from right. As a result, women all over the world are criticised by men for telling them to turn right - when they really meant left.
@ LL / The Island /17Jan2008
Ever wondered why your partner can't seem to hear you asking him to put out the rubbish when he's watching TV?
Perhaps he, on the other hand, can't understand how you can spot a dirty sock in a dark corner at 30 yards?
According to new research by Professor of Psychology Adrian Furnham, of University College London, although men and women are pretty much on a par when it comes to IQ - despite many men believing they are substantially more intelligent than women - there are very real differences between the two sexes when it comes to how they think.
Professor Furnham says that research suggests men have more logical brains - excelling in spatial awareness, which underpins navigation and numerical skills.
Women do better in 'emotional intelligence' and language - mastering larger vocabularies earlier and using more complex linguistic constructions.
Best-selling self-help authors and body language experts Allan and Barbara Pease agree.
They have explored the theories behind why men and women appear to think very differently in many of their best-selling books, including Why Men Don't Listen And Women Can't Read Maps.
They believe men and women think differently, believe different things and have different perceptions, priorities and behaviours.
Here, in an extract from their book, they explain the intriguing differences that will be painfully familiar to many readers.
Why Men can't hold a conversation and watch TV at the same time
Women are experts at multitasking. A woman can be writing a shopping list while cooking and asking her husband to check the children have done their homework. Brain scans reveal a woman's brain is never disengaged, even when she is asleep. Men, on the other hand, find multi-tasking difficult.
If a woman asks a man to make a phone call while watching TV, he will find it very challenging.
In order to understand why this is, we need to look at how the brain works. The left and right brain hemispheres are connected by a bundle of nerve fibres called the corpus callosum. This cable lets both sides of the brain exchange information. Neurologist Roger Gorski, of the University of California, in LA, confirmed that a woman's brain has a corpus callosum that is ten per cent thicker than a man's, and has up to 30 per cent more connections between the left and right hemispheres of the brain.
He also proved that men and women use different parts of the brain when working on the same task. This, and other research, agrees that men's brains are specialised.
A male brain is configured to concentrate on one specific task only, giving him a "one thing at a time" approach.
The female hormone oestrogen prompts nerve cells to grow more connections within the brain and between the two hemispheres. Studies show the more connections you have, the more fluent your speech. It also explains women's ability to multi-track unrelated activities and throws light on women's intuition.
A woman has a greater range of sensory equipment, so it's no wonder a woman can make such fast, accurate judgments about people and situations.
To get a man to help you out in the home - present him with just one clear idea at a time. Choose your timing carefully - and ask him to do just one task.
Why men can't lie to women
Our body language research reveals that, in face-to-face communications, non-verbal signals account for around 60 per cent of the impact of the message, while vocal sounds make up around 30 per cent. The other ten per cent or so is words.
A woman's superior sensory equipment picks up and analyses this information.
Her brain's ability to transfer rapidly between hemispheres makes her more proficient at integrating and deciphering verbal, visual and other signals.
This is why most men have difficulty successfully lying to a woman face-to-face.
But, as most women know, lying to a man face-to-face is comparatively easy, as he does not have the necessary sensitivity to spot incongruities between her verbal and non-verbal signals.
Most men, if they're going to lie to a woman, would be far better off doing it over the phone, in a letter or with all the lights off, and a blanket over their heads.
Why women have trouble with parallel parking
Research commissioned by a British driving school showed that UK men averaged 82 per cent accuracy in reverse parking someone else's car close to the kerb, and 71 per cent could successfully park their vehicle on the first attempt.
Women scored only 22 per cent accuracy, while a mere 23 per cent could do it successfully first time. Parking tests at driving schools show that women generally do better at reverse parking than men, but statistics show women perform worse in real-life situations.
This is because women are better than men at learning a task and successfully repeating it, provided the environment and conditions under which they do it don't change. In traffic, however, every situation presents a new set of data to be assessed and men's spatial ability is better suited to handle this task.
An in-built spatial ability allows a man to rotate a map in his mind and know in which direction to go. If he has to return to the same location later, he doesn't need the map, as his brain's spatial area can store the information.
Sit in any sports stadium and you can witness how men leave their seats to buy a drink and successfully navigate their way back to that seat some time later. Go to any city and watch female tourists standing at junctions turning their maps around, looking lost.
Or similarly, in car parks, trying to locate their cars.
Why women value emotions, and men careers
Modern society is a mere blip on the screen of human evolution.
Hundreds of thousands of years of living in traditional roles has left modern men and women with brain circuitry that causes most of our relationship problems and misunderstandings.
Men have always defined themselves by their work and accomplishments and women define their own self-worth by the quality of their relationships.
A man is a lunch-chaser and problem solver - this had to be his priority for survival. A woman is a nest-defender - her role was to ensure survival of the next generation. Even in recent times, studies conducted on male and female values continue to show that 70 to 80 per cent of men everywhere still say that the most important part of their lives is their work.
And 70 to 80 per cent of women say the most important priority is their families. As a consequence, if a woman is unhappy in her relationship, she can't concentrate on her work.
If a man is unhappy at work he can't focus on his relationships.
Under stress or pressure, a woman sees spending time talking with her man as a reward, but a man sees it as an interference in his problemsolving process. She wants to talk and cuddle, and all he wants to do is watch football.
To a woman, he seems uncaring and disinterested and a man sees her as annoying or pedantic.
These perceptions are a reflection of the different organisation and priorities of their brains.
This is why a woman always says that the relationship seems more important to her than it does to him - it is.
Understanding this difference may help take the pressure off you and your partner sometimes.
Why women have a 'sixth sense'
For centuries women were burned at the stake for possessing "supernatural powers".
These included the ability to predict outcomes of relationships and uncover the truth.
We conducted an experiment for a TV programme which highlighted women's ability to read body language signals.
At a maternity hospital, we showed ten-second film clips of crying babies and asked the mothers to watch them with the sound off.
This way they received only visual information. Most mothers could quickly detect a range of emotions, from hunger to wind. When the fathers did the same test, fewer than 10 per cent of them could pick more than two emotions.
In a room of 50 couples it takes the average woman less than ten minutes to analyse the relationship between each couple. Her superior sensory abilities - honed from her background as a nest-defender - enable her to identify couples who are getting on with each other, who's had an argument and where the competitive or friendly women are.
Men scan the room looking for exits and entries - his ancient brain-wiring evaluates where potential attacks may come from and possible escape routes. Next, he looks for familiar faces or possible enemies and then scans the room layout.
His logical mind will register things that need to be fixed or repaired, such as a blown light bulb.
Why women can't tell left from right
Because women use both sides of their brains at the same time, many find it more difficult to tell their left hands from their right.
In studies it has been found that around 50 per cent of women cannot instantly recognise which is which, without looking for a ring or a freckle first.
Men, on the other hand, operating in either the left or right brains, find it much easier to identify left from right.
As a result, women all over the world are criticised by men for telling them to turn right - when they really meant left.
Why men won't ask for directions
It's a familiar scene. You're driving to a party - you're lost - but he won't stop and ask for directions.
Why? Well, it's important to understand the history of where this attitude came from. Picture this scene. The cave family is crouched around a fire. The man is surveying the landscape for signs of movement so he can go out and hunt. His family are depending on him.
They're hungry but confident he can succeed as he has always done. He must not show any signs of fear. By asking for help, a man considers himself a failure, as he has not been able to do his job.
Most women do not know that if a man is driving in the car alone, he'd probably stop and ask directions. But to do it when she is in the car makes him feel like he is a failure.
To deal with this, a woman needs to make sure that she doesn't make a man feel wrong when she discusses problems with him.
A man needs to understand that a woman's objective is not to make him wrong; it's to help him, and he should not take things personally.
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