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 Post subject: Love-hate relationship
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:43 pm 
Love and hate relationships

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13July2006
@ TML


Love and hate – can they co-exist? I once had a friend who absolutely hated the song ‘can’t stop the hurt inside when love and hate collide.’ It’s possibly the roughest emotional state on the face of the planet! The poet William Blake got it right when he said "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend."

The problem with being betrayed or hurt by someone you care about deeply lies in the very phrase ‘care about deeply.’ After the betrayal, where do you put the ‘care’part? Emotions like that do not, unfortunately, simply fade away. So when, into the bargain, you add hurt and anger – the pain becomes almost unbearable.

The only solution, if indeed there is one, is the age old – forgive and forget. But what if the other person does not really want forgiveness?

Love-hate relationship

A love-hate relationship often occurs when people have completely lost the intimacy within a loving relationship, yet still retain some passion for, or perhaps some commitment to, each other.

A love-hate relationship could also be when (for example) Person A loves or desires Person B, while Person B hates Person A. This could lead Person A to obsession and possibly insanity, as has happened to various fictional characters.

An addiction is also a kind of love-hate relationship. Another symptom of a love-hate relationship is one in which there remains a high degree of sexual intimacy, but the emotional intimacy has degraded or vanished altogether. Some in these circumstances have observed that the overall emotional feeling is not wholly unlike an actual substance — abuse addiction.

A love-hate relationship is also between two people who refuse to accept the liking of each other or the enjoyment of one another’s presence. The couple usually holds a weak grudge against the other creating a feud between emotional depression and happily ever after. The relationship is held together by the hatred each person conjures when feeling incomparable to the other’s perfection.

This anger is the cover up for the love part of the relationship because the couple dislikes society’s knowledge of the affair. The hate is also powered by the teasing of each person while the frustration reaches its maximum level through the restriction on releasing their sexual tension and intimacy.

On the other hand, the relationship may be held together entirely by insecurity; the people in the relationship may believe that (for some reason or another) they are ‘unable to live without’ one another, and knowing no other existence but with each other, choose the certainty of staying together over the risk of leaving.

The two people in such a relationship are totally incompatible, but believe that they are both with the best person for themselves that they are going to get.

Romantic relationship

One of the most famous, and most romantic love-hate relationships in literature is in Austen’s Pride And Prejudice, between Elizabeth and Darcy. First he rejects her (extremely insensitively) because, though attracted, he evidently has a major complex.

Then she rejects him because (naturally) she believes he is a total jerk who wrecked her sister’s chances of happiness (oh, and she also notices his superiority complex). Finally however – love triumphs over adversity and they marry and live – hopefully – happily ever after.

Do real life love-hate relationships end this way? Well you can still wish!


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